The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
