Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
