WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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