vagina is talking i cant
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
