you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
