Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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