Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
