it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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