So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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