We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
