Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
