Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
