Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
