eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
