Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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