im about as happy as oj after his trial
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
