Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
