so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
