i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
