I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
