found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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