Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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