But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
