just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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