he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
