4 words: hood of his car
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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