You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize