idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize