I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
