My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
