Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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