And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
