no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
