i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
