after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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