Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
