I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
