Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
