no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Let the clothes fall where they may.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
