SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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