Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
