O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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