butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Randomize
