Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I hope mine doesn't look like that
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
