she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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