Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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