I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize