I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
