Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
