i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
