Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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