It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Small penises have feelings too.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
