omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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