Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
