Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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