how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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