please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
i believe in u and ur pee
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