Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
