Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i drank out of a bidet.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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