the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
