Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
