Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
