and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Randomize
