i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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