Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize