Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
