just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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