I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
