if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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