The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
