He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
